Sit back, close your eyes and try to remember when you first started dating your partner. Hopefully it brings a thoughtful smile to your face and arouses earnest memories. Can you remember when you couldn’t wait to see him? The mere thought of him caused nervous and excited butterflies. It didn’t matter where you went because you were simply eager to be with him. It didn’t matter what he talked about because you were delighted at the very sound of his voice. Do you recall buying sexy underwear for your date night, no matter how you anticipated the night to end? Take a moment and relive those first kisses, the touching, the hesitancy and expectancy of what might come. Everything was special. Your thoughts and actions were simple yet deliberate. You felt sexy and desired; you felt alive!
The most important thing about dating was that despite everything going on in your all-too-busy life, you had an essential and raw need to connect with this other being. No excuses or complications about making time to meet.
When honeymoon and the infatuation stages are over, what is left? The majority of time is spent managing life’s obligations and challenges like bills, kids, chores, and careers. Most couples manage to accept that the romance is over and settle into a comfortable routine with no passion or new adventures. Conversations that once ignited your soul and imagination have been replaced with talks and arguments about money, sex, work, children and housework. Sex has become routine; you can easily predict every sound and every move. It is a fact that all couples must accept.
Accept it or change it. Why not be daring and drastic and have an affair! The solution to a happy relationship is having an affair; with your partner! The fundamental reasons for having an affair are personal pleasure, escapism, and the need for attention and to relieve boredom. All very selfish reasons but why not indulge? How long should you sacrifice your physical and emotional needs? Make a conscious effort to break the constraints of a boring relationship and have an affair with your partner!
Having a Meaningful Affair
The most important part in having a meaningful affair is to make time. You must recognize that there will never be a perfect time. If you wait until the stars align perfectly, you just may miss your opportunity. Commit to reconnecting and finding new experiences together. You are not the same person that you were a month ago and certainly not years before; therefore, take this moment to share yourself with your partner. Be open to the changes within him that has gotten lost in the routine of the day. Run away from home. Getting away from home is imperative because staying at home only serves as a reminder of all of the relationship issues like money, sex, chores, children and housework! Set no limits or rules. However, I will suggest one rule; no discussion about money, chores, children or housework. Mastering letting go of those topics is difficult. In the beginning I violated this rule often. I would spend nearly the entire date talking other about the kids, work and ending the discussion with reviewing the enormous list of all of the things that I needed to get done. It was difficult to turn the switch off from being wife, mother, and worker to being merely a woman. My husband started to make a playful game of it. Every time I talked about any one of those topics I had to do whatever act of his choice; whimsical challenges with no losers! Nonetheless, learn to turn the switch on and off. You owe it to yourself, to be selfish. Embrace the art of flirting and flirt with him. Remember when you wanted and demanded to please and to be pleased? With confidence, you would tease and arouse him with words that affirmed all of your desires. Reclaim that confidence and pursue your passions and desires.
It doesn’t matter whether you have been together for a few months or for years there is always something new to discover about each other. People are constantly changing. In the beginning you had aspirations and dreams and you spent hours revealing all that mattered most to you. Those hopes and dreams may have changed; all the same when communication is lost your life’s passions remain unspoken and buried under the day-to-day challenges. Unspoken emotions yield frustration and loneliness. If you fail to acknowledge and understand the dynamic changing nature of your partner and within yourself you will surely fall into an unfulfilled and routine relationship. Accept it or change it.
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